10 Compliments Your Kids Need To Hear


1. Com­pli­ment their character.

We live in a world where integrity is nei­ther con­sis­tently taught nor widely expected. When our chil­dren demon­strate hon­esty, kind­ness, trust­wor­thi­ness and reli­a­bil­ity, that’s a great time to take them aside and offer a sin­cere compliment.

2. Com­pli­ment obe­di­ence and respect.

It’s too easy to fall into pat­terns of dis­ap­proval, where the only time we notice is when kids do wrong. Rather than wait­ing for dis­obe­di­ence or dis­re­spect (then com­ing down like a ton of bricks) try notic­ing obe­di­ence and respect: “I don’t always remem­ber to tell you, but you are an awe­some young man, and I appre­ci­ate the way you treat your mother”.

3. Com­pli­ment them for sim­ply being part of the family.

Every time I see you, I’m thank­ful that I’m your Mom.” Kids need to under­stand that they are val­ued sim­ply because they are.

4. Com­pli­ment con­tri­bu­tions to the family.

Clear­ing the table (sweep­ing the porch… putting out the trash) makes a real dif­fer­ence. I appre­ci­ate your con­tri­bu­tion.” Kids need to under­stand that what they do makes a dif­fer­ence, that the adults notice, and that pitch­ing in is a good part of fam­ily life.

5. Com­pli­ment the qual­ity of their work.

This is one clean porch, mis­ter!” “You mowed the lawn right up to the edge.  Way to go!  I’m so glad you take this job so seri­ously, it shows.” Doing a job at a high stan­dard is always worth noting.

6. Com­pli­ment the effort, even when the result is not the best.

Your will­ing­ness to help makes me happy! Now we need to take a look at how you can get the trash to the curb with­out leav­ing a trail!” Com­pli­ments can be an impor­tant part of our role as teachers.

7. Com­pli­ment when they achieve some­thing new.

Wow! That’s a huge leap for­ward for you there in math, pal.” “Awe­some! I’m not at all sur­prised after you worked so hard.” A well-placed com­pli­ment can keep a pos­i­tive ball rolling.

8. Com­pli­ment their sense of style even if we don’t exactly share their taste.

We don’t want to force our kids into being clones of us. “When it comes to putting together an out­fit, you cer­tainly have some flair!” “I can tell that you put a lot of thought into the way you look.” “I’ve never seen a table set quite like that before – you have an amaz­ing imag­i­na­tion!” It’s not use­ful to limit com­pli­ments to the nar­row range of our own taste.

9. Com­pli­ment steps toward a long-term goal.

Son, the improve­ment you’re show­ing is com­mend­able. Thanks for try­ing.” Wait­ing for per­fec­tion before we’re will­ing to dish out a com­pli­ment is inef­fi­cient, may dampen enthu­si­asm, and does lit­tle to help the process of growth.

10. Com­pli­ment their friends.

But only do this when you can do it hon­estly! “Your friends are the great­est!” “That Jake is such a good kid.” “You know, it gives me a lot of con­fi­dence to know you use com­mon sense in choos­ing your friends.”



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