How Do You Keep Your Relationship Spicy



How do you keep your long term relationship fresh…fun…spicy?  Some say it’s as simple as smiling at your partner when they enter the room.  Tell us how you make sure your marriage is secure here and 6:45 tomorrow morning.

1. Look into each other’s eyes and say “I love you”.

“We don’t dwell too much on the other person’s shortcomings. We just accept them,” said Ronna Benjamin.

mature couple in love

2. Let your partner help you.

“I am a lifelong feminist. But that hasn’t stopped me from asking my husband from time to time over the years to offer his opinion, or help me to solve a problem, or let him feel needed in other ways. Quite frankly, there have been times when I’ve asked him to help me with something even when I could have handled it myself. But, I know it makes him feel good,” said Barbara Hannah Grufferman.

3. Smile when your partner walks in the door.

“Sounds so simple, but I think many of us end up taking their long-term partners for granted in this most basic way. No matter how tired I might be at the end of the day, or how stressed, I’ll still give him a smile and hug, and a quick ‘How was your day?’ It sets the tone and mood for the rest of the evening, and makes him feel good,” saidGrufferman.

4. Explore a new destination together.

“My husband are I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this June. We recently bought a second house down south that we plan to use as a retirement home someday. Having a new destination to explore and working on a new house together have been energizing to us in a way making small changes in our lives would not have been,” said Mary Dell Harrington.

mature couple on beach

5. Show an independent streak.

By developing your own interests and friendships, you’ll make yourself more attractive to your partner.

6. Find an evening ritual you both love.

“When my husband comes home, technology goes off (for at least 30 minutes). We sit and have a glass of wine and talk. It’s grounding and makes us feel connected,” said Felice Shapiro.

7. Have separate bathrooms.

“And one more thing — we have separate bathrooms. That may be the key to another 20 years,” said Shapiro.

8. Engage in physical contact outside the bedroom.

Even snuggling in front of the TV or holding hands while walking down the street can help bring back the spark to your relationship.

mature couple holding hands

9. Send your partner a text.

“I usually send a quick ‘All good with you?’ text during the day, or one that says ‘Love you!’ so he knows that even after 20 years I’m still thinking of him,” Grufferman said.


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