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Prepare Your Kids For The Zombie Apocalypse

There are 2 ways to think about a zom­bie apoc­a­lypse. Some peo­ple want to be the first to go. Why bother sur­viv­ing when sur­vival is a hope­less prospect? Why fight to live in a world pop­u­lated by soul­less, brain-feasting monsters?

What about the indomitable spirit we as humans pos­sess? That’s the spirit behind the 2nd way of think­ing about a zom­bie apoc­a­lypse which is to sur­vive, dang it, at all costs. To sur­vive, nay thrive, as we rebuild from the ashes and fight to main­tain some sem­blance of our cul­ture and dignity.

So, with regard to prepar­ing your kids for a zom­bie apoc­a­lypse: It prob­a­bly won’t hap­pen, but in case it does, here’s a great blog from Bab­ble with a few things to work on with your kids [before it’s too late].

1. Scout­ing
Pick up a man­ual if you can and study it with your kids. In it you will find all man­ner of sur­vival skills that your kids are going to need in their flight from zom­bies. Fire start­ing, knot tying, shel­ter building–this is the stuff of scout­ing and the BSA would do well to re-brand them­selves with zom­bies in mind.
2. Lead­er­ship Skills
When­ever there is a zom­bie apoc­a­lypse a clear leader always emerges. Some­times more than one, but one will be a rene­gade with poor judg­ment and will die. Peo­ple need a leader. You need to teach your kids to be strong and artic­u­late. They should under­stand how to make a plan and del­e­gate its parts, giv­ing the most dif­fi­cult parts of the plan to the most expend­able char­ac­ters. Now, if your kid just is not going to hack it as a leader there is still hope. Teach them meek accep­tance and instill in them a will­ing­ness to fol­low the strongest per­son­al­ity and things will prob­a­bly turn out OK for them.
3. Ham Radio
Sure they can text, pin, and Insta­gram. But those skills are not going to help them con­tact other sur­vivors who might be holed up some­where with silos of food to share. HAM radio will. It’s not clear why, but all com­mu­ni­ca­tions are down dur­ing a zom­bie apoc­a­lypse. You can’t just call the CDC or the National Guard. You have to use a radio and you prob­a­bly have to use Morse code.
4. Picky Eaters Might Not Sur­vive
This one is impor­tant: Your adorable lit­tle fuss bucket who only eats Dino Nuggets will die if he can’t eat squir­rel and choke down raw goat’s milk. As a par­ent, you sim­ply must not tol­er­ate the picky eater. No exceptions.

 

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