1. CANDY CORN
Sure, Candy Corn is a Halloween staple, but those little tri-colored pieces are very controversial. Hands down the most polarizing confection, here’s a sampling of what protestors had to say: “Who the heck wants candy modeled after a vegetable?!?” “I’d rather eat a crayon.” “Can’t understand why it even exists.” “It’s been the same Candy Corn for decades and decades… it just gets recycled for next year.” And last but not least: “Screw you, Candy Corn.” Whether it’s the classic corn, chocolate-flavored or even pumpkin-shaped… buyer beware! Lots of people are NOT fans of the waxy product in any way, shape or form. “BLECH.”
2. MARY JANES
Remember these? Another example of a festive treat that’s much better in theory than in practice… The orange and black wrappers may scream Halloween, but the fun stops when you put one in your mouth! Many haters didn’t even know the name of the “mystery chews from old people,” but those little peanut butter/molasses flavored candies are called Mary Janes (though readers mostly just called them “nasty.”) They date back to 1914 (which explains why those of a certain age are the key distributors) and are made by NECCO (whose famous wafers also turn off modern sweet tooths)… So maybe it’s a generational thing? Or not.
What could be so wrong with honey-flavored taffy embedded with almond bits? Bit-O-Honey sounds like it would be delicious, but the “long-chewing candy” takes far too long to devour (not to mention gets majorly stuck in your teeth)! “Those were thrown out immediately” sums up the general sentiment about this vintage treat that originated in 1924. Kids today don’t have time for it!
4. TOOTSIE ROLLS
“Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me.” This candy has a super catchy jingle, but the problem is that a lot of people would rather see something else in their Trick-or-Treat bag. Blame the contestable wax-like consistency once again, but at least this hard chew does seem to have some history: in 1896 Tootsie founder Leo Hirschfeld allegedly wanted to create a product that would not melt easily in the heat as an economic alternative to traditional chocolate. The cocoa-flavored sweet sold for a penny a piece, so you get what you pay for? Real chocolate please!
5. GOOD & PLENTY
The cute pink and white capsules might fool you at first – because the little treats have a dark soul! All it takes is one bite to know if the black licorice hiding inside is your thing. It’s strong, it’s intense, and for that reason, plenty of people have nothing good to say about Good & Plenty. As the oldest branded candy in America (since 1893!), someone is clearly keeping them in business… if you must buy them, just do so for yourself!
Can you say sugar? These uber-sweet (and slightly sour) tablets in six fruity flavors are simply too much for some tastebuds. But the biggest complaint overall is their “gross” chalky texture. The retro rolls get their name from the verb “to smart” – when one’s face involuntarily puckers. “#DoNotWant”
It’d be a real whopper to say too many positive things about malted milk balls coated in chocolate. The insides are downright dry and oddly crumbly. “Nobody wants Whoppers,” wrote one reader, but this might be the best response of #WorstCandyEver right here: “We had a party and a candy jar full of Whoppers on Saturday. Folks stole our toilet paper, but not our Whoppers.” ‘Nuff said. If you’re aiming to please, pick something else!
8. THINGS THAT AREN’T CANDY
Halloween is a holiday that celebrates candy… you’re supposed to splurge, so by all means don’t suck the joy out of it! Enough with healthy snacks like apples and raisins. And forget about homemade treats, too. That means no popcorn balls, baked goods, and nothing unwrapped whatsoever. Since you can’t trust anyone these days, parents will toss it all the trash faster than the kiddos can say “Trick-or-Treat.” Manufactured, store-bought C-A-N-D-Y is magic (sans razors)!
9. THINGS THAT AREN’T EVEN EDIBLE
See #8. It’s great to be creative when it comes to your costume, but when it comes to treats, don’t play around. The absolute most-hated stuff isn’t candy at all. No, it’s “tricks” like coins, pencils, religious pamphlets (not the time to preach) and of course toothbrushes (where is your Halloween spirit, seriously?!). “Who wants to be reminded of tooth decay digging through a pile of candy?”